Ever noticed how often the mother-of-the-groom gets left out of the wedding chat?
We’re chatting about why it’s so important to make sure they feel like they VIP they are when planning your big day!
IMAGES | By Rhea
Whether it’s Jane Fonda terrifying Jennifer Lopez in Monster-in-Law or the interfering busybody Juanita threatening to ruin Gaby in Desperate Housewives, it’s safe to say the mother-of-the-groom archetype isn’t exactly kind.
In real life, though, chances are your partner’s mum is just bloomin’ lovely, especially now you’re about to marry into the family.
But while everyday mum-in-laws are never usually the vindictive maniacs Hollywood likes to depict, they’re still treated pretty unfairly by the wedding industry.
Don’t believe us? Just have a think about how you view your own mum’s role in the wedding.
Think about the hundreds of adverts, shows and products you’ve seen that focus on ﬁnding the perfect mother-of-the-bride outﬁt.
How often do they really mention the mother-of-the-groom? And hand on heart, how often whilst planning your wedding have you thought about doing something special for your future mum-in-law?
Of course,there’s a chance you’re a saintly daughter-in-law who’s already got this covered.
But if not, then maybe it’s time to admit that you may have (even accidentally) been leaving your partner’s mum out of your wedding plans a little too much.
The way it was
We’re not blaming you, by the way. Like lots of the traditions and rituals around weddings, we’ve inherited this generally rather lax attitude towards the mother – and in fact, the parents – of the groom.
“Historically, the bride’s parents paid for the wedding. They picked up the tab and everyone attending – the groom’s family included – were their guests,” explains Tim Maguire, celebrant with the Caledonian Humanist Association.
That formal element of hosting the day gave them a level of importance throughout the wedding that the groom’s parents couldn’t really claim.
Of course, this isn’t always the case nowadays. Modern couples often cover the cost of their wedding themselves, sometimes both families contribute and a lot of the time, it’s a mixture of all three parties that help foot the bill.
What it means? The bride’s parents aren’t the only ones who get to have a say in the wedding anymore.
Changing it up
Regardless of how you’re funding your wedding, it’s only fair to pay equal attention to both of your parents.
At the end of the day, a wedding is really just two families coming together to celebrate withyou, and one shouldn’t be given a status above the other. It’s you and your partner’s day, and it will mean just as much to both of your mums.
Which is why, if you ask us, it’s about time we all did something to make sure mothers-of-the-groom get the attention they deserve.
Not sure where to get started? Don’t worry! There are a ton of different ways to get her involved, right through from the initial planning stages to the day itself.
Keep your eyes on our blog over the next few weeks – we’re going to be sharing our own top tips, as well as some brill advice from a few leaders in the Scottish wedding scene on how to make your future mum-in-law feel like the VIP she is throughout your wedding!