Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but the idea of having to give a speech in front of a packed room can be daunting – especially as all those people are expecting you to be funny!
Don’t worry if you’re not a natural comedian, because we’ve got some solid best man jokes that will have your audience laughing for all the right reasons!
1. “I recognise my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.”
2. “It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers!”
3. “[GROOM’S NAME] was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming¦”
4. “Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan.”
5. “[BRIDE’S NAME], you’re a wonderful woman, who deserves a wonderful husband. And I’m not going to rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.”
6. “I have to say how lucky you are [GROOM’S NAME], you leave here today with a wife that is loving, warm and caring. And [BRIDE’S NAME], you’re very lucky too. You leave here today with a beautiful dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.”
7. “You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to this day. After all the time I’ve been friends with [GROOM’S NAME], he has at long last finally admitted that I am the best man!”
8. “[GROOM’S NAME] was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic “ he got up on one knee.”
9. “Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, and a great man… but that’s enough about me, I’m here to give a speech about [GROOM’S NAME]!”
10. “Well, I do hope that [GROOM’S NAME] and [BRIDE’S NAME] enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway¦ When I asked [GROOM’S NAME] what he was doing after the wedding he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight…”
11. “Good evening, ladies and gentleman. If there is anybody here who is feeling nauseous, nervous or like they’re stuck in a big black hole with no way out, you’re either me or you just married [GROOM’S NAME].”
12. “I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I˜d found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.”
13. “I’m going to keep this speech like [GROOM’S NAME] – short and not very funny¦”
14. “Marriage is grand – and divorce is about 10 grand.”
15. “[BRIDE’S NAME] please put your left hand flat on the table. [GROOM’S NAME] please place your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment [GROOM’S NAME] because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.”
Find out how to plan an alternative stag do for your groom!