Would it surprise you to learn that despite having been to a fair few weddings in my time, I’ve only ever received two thank-you cards for my wedding gift?
Well, it’s true.
I’m often asked if I’m fed up of going to weddings because I write about them all day for a living, but the honest answer is a big fat NOPE. It’s an honour and a joy to celebrate a life-long commitment between friends, and I get a buzz like no other from enthusiastic cocktail-and-cake-fuelled ceilidh dancing.
What I am fed up of is putting thought (and money) into what I’m going to gift someone, only to be met with complete radio silence after the big day’s over. No thank-you card, no text, not even a FB message to acknowledge that they did indeed get the pressie and it didn’t get left behind at the venue / eaten by a dog / accidentally nicked by their steaming gran.
Plus, it’s not just about the gift. It’s about thanking your guests for the time and expense they invested in attending your day. Don’t forget that the average wedding guest spends around £400 going to a wedding once you’ve added up the cost of the gift, outfit, travel and accommodation.
I know you’ve got loads of things to do immediately after your wedding and that thank-you cards won’t be your top priority. From returning your Marriage Schedule to going on honeymoon (then dealing with the inevitable back-to-work blues), you have a busy few weeks post-wedding. That’s fine. I don’t expect or want you to get round to the gift admin immediately.
But when four, five, six months go by and I’ve still heard nothing from you, that’s when I’ll start to think that either you’re seriously rude, or my gift was so unspeakably bad that it didn’t even merit a ‘cheers pal’. And unless I’ve given you a jobby in a box, surely the latter can’t ever apply?
HOW TO KEEP ON TOP OF YOUR THANK-YOUS
My advice to couples is this: when opening your gifts, make a list of who got you what. Do it in your iPhone notes, fire up an excel spreadsheet, write it down in a notepad – whatever works for you.
If you haven’t ordered your cards already, contact your stationer to do so. Lots of couples get a card that ties in with the rest of their stationery (that’s what my friends Sharon and Stu did with this adorable design by Origami Fox), while some wait until they have an image from their wedding photographer that they can incorporate into the card.
You may for environmental reasons not want to send a physical card, which is totally fine. If even eco-friendly wedding stationery on recycled paper doesn’t float your boat, send a personalised email instead.
And if you cba doing any of that, at least send a bloody text. Silence is not golden.