Two of my bridesmaids live in Scotland but two of them don’t (one lives in Iceland and the other in New York!). How can I sort out the details for dresses and the hen do, plus make everyone feel included, when my bridesmaids live in different countries?
This sounds familiar! One of my bessies, Laura, has six bridesmaids and we’re scattered around the world – I’m in Scotland, two are in England, and the other three are in Denmark, Romania and Italy. In other words, it’s a logistical nightmare.
HOW DO YOU SORT THE DRESSES OUT WHEN THE BRIDESMAIDS LIVE IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES?
For Laura, it quickly became apparent that trying to arrange a bridesmaid dress shopping trip for us all was going to be way too difficult (not to mention too expensive, travel-wise, for the majority of us).
Luckily, Laura is more bridechilla than bridezilla and she’s happy for us to each pick our own dress so long as we all go for a similar colour (pale blue). She wants us each to wear something that reflects our own personal style, and we have a bridesmaids group on Facebook Messenger where we share pics with each other of the dresses we’ve bought/tried on.
If you’d rather have everyone wearing the same dress, you could buy from an online retailer that delivers to all countries (ASOS can deliver to both Iceland and New York). Alternatively, combine a dress shopping trip with your hen do – it’d mean having your hen a good few months before the wedding, but at least the travel costs would be easier to swallow if the trip served a dual purpose.
Another smart tip I got from a bride-to-be I met in Portugal last year was this: go to a fabric shop, choose a material you absolutely love, then send it to each of your bridesmaids. They can then find a dressmaker local to them to get a dress made from that fabric in their exact style.
This has the potential to get a bit pricey as dressmaker’s rates will vary from country to country. This particular bride paid for the fabric, but then the bridesmaids covered the cost of getting their dresses made (her reasoning was that because the dress would be in their exact style, they’d be able to wear it again so they’d be getting bang for their buck).
HOW DO YOU ORGANISE THE HEN DO WHEN YOUR BRIDESMAIDS LIVE IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES?
It all comes down to budget. You could have your hen overseas in a location that’s easy enough for all parties to travel to, but this might not be an affordable option for everyone.
A more budget-friendly option would be to have your hen close to the wedding date, when your bridesmaids will be travelling to Scotland anyway for the big day. That’s what we’re thinking of doing for Laura’s hen, as everyone will be arriving at least a few days before the wedding. We’ll definitely not be having it the night before the wedding though – nobody wants to be nursing a hangover on the big day.
HOW DO I MAKE EVERYONE FEEL INCLUDED WHEN MY BRIDESMAIDS LIVE IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES?
A Facebook or WhatsApp group is definitely the way to go. It’s a great way to get everyone chatting before the big day, especially if some of your bridesmaids have never met before, plus it’s an easy way to share different ideas you have whether it’s a hairstyle you love or a décor idea you’re thinking of recreating.
You could even create a Pinterest board for your wedding (lol, like you haven’t already) that the bridesmaids can contribute to or follow.
Oh, and it might sound obvious, but if you have any get-togethers with your Scottish bridesmaids and post about it on social media, remember to tag your absent bridesmaids to say you wish they were there too. It’ll take the edge off the FOMO.