Traditionally thought of as a requirement only for those who wished to marry in a religious ceremony, these days pre-marriage counselling comes in many different forms and is certainly a worthwhile consideration for every engaged couple no matter what kind of wedding they are planning. The Catholic, Anglican, Church of Scotland and most Christian faiths all have specially tailored programs in which a priest or qualified member of the church meets with the couple in the lead up to their day and goes through a set of questions about each person's expectations of their married life and of the other person, and discusses with them how their marriage will function within the framework of that particular church. Although there is a large focus on faith in these sessions, most cover all aspects of marriage planning, from whether children are part of the equation to how the partnership approaches money.
The idea of a pre-marriage meeting is that traditionally marriage was a Church-only institution, and as such a married couple could expect to be supported by their community and to draw strength from their faith.
Non-secular pre-marital meetings cover much of the same material outlined above, and sessions are a chance for people to discuss what is important to them and what hopes they hold for the future, as well as any issues they may have, with an impartial and friendly professional before they are married. Premarital counselling may help couples identify potential areas of conflict and work on them before they become a problem. It is also a great way of re-inforcing to your partner what it is you love about them and what made you want to marry them in the first place.
Real bride Syra married Mark in a Humanist ceremony. She'd had an emotional year in the lead-up to his proposal, and says that reflecting on their relationship with their celebrant whilst they wrote their vows was one of the most worthwhile things she did. 'It made me think about what we wanted to promise to each other...' she said, 'and made me reflect on how supportive Mark had been.'
When it comes down to it, marriage is a legally binding contract. Most of us wouldn't enter into a joint mortgage or a business partnership without getting professional advice beforehand and having open and frank discussions with the other person, so why should marriage be any different?
Join the discussion about pre-marriage counselling on the Scottish Wedding Directory Forum...
