Although we’re naturally geared up to think of the wedding as being all about the bride and groom, it’s also a time that underlines the importance of friends and family. This is especially true if you have children of your own. So how can you make sure they feel like they’re a crucial part of the day, rather than simply just another guest watching from the sidelines?
Creative kids The process of getting your kids involved should ideally start well before the day itself; if you can give them some genuine role in helping to plan the day – going wedding shopping with you, choosing table decorations, helping to decide on favours or colour schemes etc – they will feel more like it’s an occasion they have a little control over, instead of something that’s just happening to them whether they like it or not.
Invitations
Why not include their names on the invitations? Then guests will be invited from the whole family. Or if you don’t feel that’s appropriate they could always send a set of invitations to their own circle of friends. As long as they’re not very young, they will be able to help put invitations into envelopes when it gets to that stage. In fact, never underestimate how creative kids can be; they might just come up with a great design!
During the ceremony
The ceremony is one of the best ways of bringing kids right into the thick of it, whether you ask them to give a reading (perhaps a child-friendly poem, or something they’ve written themselves) or simply have their names mentioned a couple of times during the service. If they’re musical they could offer some light entertainment during the ceremony. Talk to the celebrant about how the ceremony might be adapted to incorporate the children. Even just to have them standing beside you might be enough.
Roles
Before the ceremony starts, young ones of either sex can act as ushers or accompany the bride down the aisle. There’s no reason why age should bar a son from the role of best man – if he’s too old to be pageboy, then he’s old enough! After the ceremony, children can be invited up as witnesses; although the real ones must be over 18, ask the celebrant to bring along a copy just to give them something to sign – everyone feels important when asked to sign an official document.
When tiredness kicks in
During the reception, kids are likely to start getting tired, so try to be especially well prepared for this portion of the day. Maybe ask your favourite bridesmaid to make up party bags for the younger ones; a good colouring-in competition is a great trick for keeping them quiet. But to reiterate just how important they are, ask the best man to thank them in his speech when he does the obligatory bridesmaids toast.
Keep them busy
Children can be commissioned to take informal photos of guests, or remind people to leave a message in the guestbook. You can also include them in your first dance, by opting for a family-led ceilidh rather than the traditional couples dance. Whatever you ask a child to do, remember that they have to be comfortable
with it, so try to choose something age-appropriate and don’t push it if they’re
not keen. But try not to give them too many things to do, for fear that they will be bored, because it might just start to feel like one big chore. It should be fun!
Budget buster
Ask your caterers or venue co-ordinator whether they offer a discounted rate for children’s meals – often it can be half price.
